But Now That You're Not Here With Me
by Kavbj
Summary: As Long As You're Here With Me: 2. And I’ll tell you I still love you; and nothing stays the same. But this was life, and that was love. So it all made sense. The rain will cry for those who cannot, he thought. I wonder if that includes someone like me.
1. Missing You

**OMG yes this is the sequel... took me a while didnt it? Haha, enjoy. Missing You by Backstreet Boys.**

* * *

_Oh, is there someone new__  
Can never go on without you  
Girl I don't want to think about it  
I can't sleep at night  
I know this can't be right  
Come back into my life  
Come back baby come back_

_You took a step forward, up to the dish, beyblade in hand. You narrowed your eyes at your opponent and then at the emblem emblazoned on his chest. Biovolt._

_On DJ's count, you both launched viciously, meeting in the middle. You were doing it Abbey style, as was the silent agreement between the two of you. Security lined the walls, and behind them, I could see the white uniforms of medics._

_The battle ended finally and with a bang. You were victorious. There was never any doubt. But something was wrong. You were pale, swaying, and barely conscious. Your beautiful eyes were hazy and tired slits. Had you used that much energy?_

_No. I knew you hadn't. Though your opponent was strong, this was an easy win for you. Then what? Poison? It wasn't uncommon for Biovolt to do such things._

_Men clad in Biovolt uniforms jumped down from the stands, and gasps and screams of shock and fear came from the crowd. I rolled my eyes._

_The men surrounded your opponent, who laid spread out on the ground. He looked up with fearful eyes as one Biovolt member pulled out a gun._

_I winced as the shot went off and blood splattered on the ground. More screams. Your opponent had just been shot in the head. His status? Dead._

_I blinked. Suddenly, I was up next to the dish, when moments ago, I had been in the stands. I looked down; gasping quietly when I saw you sprawled out on the ground, looking up with fearful eyes at the gun in my hand._

_I couldn't stop myself, I had no self-control. And as I pulled the trigger, a tear rolled down your cheek, and I'm sure mine as you whispered your last words, "I love you..."_

_BANG!_

Tala shot up. Sweat rolled down his cheeks and his chest heaved as he dragged precious oxygen into his lungs. He looked around himself and flopped back down onto the couch. Just a dream, a nightmare... a warning?

He glanced behind him and tilted his head back as he heard the lock on the door click. The door swung open to reveal Jayne, grocery bags in hand.

"Oh, so you're awake?" she smiled and shifted the bags to the one hand so she could close the door. She crossed the room and entered the kitchen, calling out, "what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Tala sighed and followed his girlfriend into the kitchen. "Had a bad dream is all."

Jayne turned away from the fridge, her blonde hair slipping over her shoulder and her dusty reddish brown eyes narrowing. "Again? Not the same one again?"

Tala nodded and turned away from her to look out the window.

He had been having the same repeated nightmare every night since he and Kai had split up. There was nothing he could do, just like in the dream. And Tala was sure it had to mean something.

I killed you in the dream, and I can tell I've killed you in the real world. You used to know how to make everything all right, but now that you're not here with me, nothing is the same. Tala quickly shook his head, ridding himself of his thoughts.

"What's for dinner tonight?"

Jayne shrugged and ran her eyes over Tala's bare chest. She grinned. "Why don't you go have a shower, and I'll put everything away."

Tala looked at her suspiciously, but agreed anyway, turning to walk towards the bathroom. "Try not to destroy the kitchen will ya, love." Tala grimaced as the word left his lips. It felt like filth and as he silently rolled it over his tongue again, he shuddered. It didn't suit Jayne. No, she was a slut.

Tala slammed his fist against the wall and bowed his head. No, Jayne was his girlfriend, not some desperate attempt to get over Kai, because _he was_ over Kai... he was.

* * *

Tala hissed as the hot water ran over his cuts and bruises from today's training. The stinging sensation quickly left and Tala pressed his back against the tiles. They were cold and little goose bumps rose along his arms.

Leaning his head back against the wall, Tala closed his blue eyes and squeezed them shut tightly, trying to rid himself of Kai's image. He opened his eyes again and blinked slowly. No use. He was always there, just like a memory. A memory of what they used to be.

* * *

There was a faint droning sound coming from the telly in the living room of his apartment, but Tala ignored it as he quietly closed his bedroom door behind him. He froze.

The cat twitched its tail back and forth, green eyes glowing brightly. Its black fur glistened in the sun and the cat raised a paw, cleaning it with a fleshy pink tongue as it kept its eyes on Tala.

Tala followed the cat's movements with his eyes and could not help but grin. So mysterious, just like a certain cat lover he was rather fond of. No! Tala glared at the animal. No. More. Kai.

Tala tugged a shirt on angrily. A frustrated tear dropped from his lashes, splashing lightly onto his collarbone. Tala hurriedly wiped the tear away, pulled on some pants and left the room, slamming the door shut.

_Oh baby I'm missing you__  
We used to love so strong  
Tell me where did we go wrong  
Oh baby I'm missing you  
They say I'll learn forget but it sure ain't happened yet _

He found Jayne sitting on the couch, watching telly. She was quietly humming to the tune of the ad currently broadcasting, but as Tala entered the room, she quietened and stood. She smiled at him and walked over. Throwing her arms around his neck, she nuzzled his nose with her own. When she received no further sign of affection, she pouted and rested her head on Tala's shoulder.

"You're thinking too much," she whispered. She twirled her fingers in Tala's dripping hair, which hung low around his face. She preferred it down like this, rather than in the devil horns.

Tala physically winced as he was reminded of Kai once again. He let Jayne press up closer to him. His arms dangled by his sides and he ignored her attempts at getting a reaction out of him. As he stared out the window, he stared intently at the reflection caught in the glass. As Jayne's reflection morphed into Kai's, Tala blinked his eyes. I must be tired, he thought, then dismissed the excuse immediately. Yeah, tired of all these lies, he corrected himself.

He finally succumbed to Jayne and gave a reaction. He raised his arms and pushed hers off him. He stalked away from her and to the front door, grabbing his keys on the way.

"I've got a meeting," he mumbled then slammed the door behind him, leaving a scowling and confused Jayne.

* * *

Sitting on the window ledge, knees propped up and forehead pressed against the cool glass, Kai realised idly as he stared up at the sky that it was going to rain soon. He let one leg fall from its perch to brush lightly against the carpet and he shifted his arms to wrap around the other knee.

There was a light rap at the door and it swung open silently. Kai looked out of the corner of his eye to see who it was.

"Are you coming," Bryan asked softly, his hand resting lazily on the door handle as he pressed himself against the wooden surface. Behind him stood the Bladebreakers, Rei's hand entwined with his spare one.

Twisting his body, Kai finally tore his gaze from the window and stood. He patted his pocket, smiling wryly when he felt Dranzer. As he walked past Bryan, who was still holding the door open, he threw one last glance outside before the door shut, blocking off the view.

The rain will cry for those who cannot, he thought. I wonder if that includes someone like me.

_I know there's a chance for you and I__  
And I believe there's no way our love could die  
So no matter how long it takes I'll wait for you  
And whatever it takes I'll be there for you  
I'll be there, I'll be there _

* * *

**Well there you go, chapter 1. This will probably be only 3-4 chapters again. Not totally sure...**

**Bye!**

**Kavbj**


	2. Collapsed

**Collapsed**

_Why did I let you go__  
__You're too good to be true__  
__I messed it up and now I don't know what to do__  
__We ran in circles and wasted time__  
__From right to wrong__  
__From right to wrong_

Kai picked at the seams of the seat with his nails. The leather felt cold as it pressed against the bare skin of his arms. Kai smiled and tilted his head back, enjoying the sensation of the sun, which he knew was not to last, beating against his face. Spencer always did like his cars, thought Kai as he closed his eyes, indulging in the privileges of a convertible.

"We left awfully early," commented Tyson. He looked out to his left and pushed away the bangs that were blown onto his face. "The meeting's not for, what? Nearly two hours? And we have to be there a certain amount of time before hand for lunch so…"

"Mm," agreed Max. He swallowed his mouthful of soda and grinned. "Rei and I wanted to buy a new jacket before we had to go to the meeting. That's alright, right?"

Tyson chuckled and threw his arm around the blonde's shoulders. "Stress less Maxie, it's fine. Do you really think I would care? It's not everyday I get to ride in a convertible Beamer, now is it?"

Bryan smirked, and deciding to entertain them, shifted gears and sped up. As he stole a glance at Kai, he smiled. He knew the younger Russian loved the feeling of speed. When they taxied in a plane, his favourite part was just before they took off, and right when they landed. Whenever he could, he would drive on the highway, where he had the chance to go faster.

Diachi threw his hands in the air and cheered, and Rei gave a delighted laugh. He leaned forward, resting his arms against the back of Bryan's chair. He leaned further forward and kissed Bryan below his ear. "This is fun," he commented.

Kai's eyes flicked open and he glanced back at Rei. He nodded happily and slowly moved his hand to his seatbelt buckle. Bryan saw him and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Kai tucked his legs under him and quickly unbuckled his belt. As soon as he was free of his constriction, and much to the horror of the others, he stood up on his seat.

"Kai!" the others chorused worriedly. Kai wobbled for a second, and then grinned mischievously as he gave a small jump to miss Bryan as the older teen lunged at him with a growl of Kai's last name.

Bryan grabbed the wheel quickly as the car swerved, and cursed loudly. He should have known the blunette would pull a stunt like this, he was acting too… too… carefree… as soon as the thought crossed his mind, Bryan immediately felt guilty.

Kai sat against the door and cocked his head, listening curiously as Rei and the rest of his team tried to convince him into sitting back down in his seat. He twisted and threw one leg over the side of the car. Reaching behind him, he grabbed the back of his seat and, making sure his legs were holding tightly, he managed to swing himself around to the back of the car, via the outside of the car. Tyson immediately grabbed Kai around the waist and tugged him into the car. Kai landed with an oof, sprawled across all of them.

"Don't _ever _try that again, got that?" growled Tyson, seizing Kai by the collar. Kai glared at him, then twisted himself out of Tyson's grip, and sat himself back into the front passenger seat. His eyes dulled considerably and as Bryan stared at him, he sighed. He pulled over.

To answer the questioning glances he received from all, he gestured towards the steering wheel and then looked at Kai. "Wanna drive?"

Kai raised a fine eyebrow, and then smirked. He quickly swapped seats with Bryan, and revved the car into life. "Hold on," he warned, and without checking for other cars, pulled back out onto the road, and immediately sped up. It was only seconds before he had breached the speed limit and started swerving in between cars.

* * *

He yanked on the steering wheel and the back of the car swerved out and into a parking space. "We're here," he reported cheerily and climbed out of the car. Kai headed for the shop he knew Rei and Max were planning to go, leaving the others in the car and to their bewildered thoughts.

It wasn't long before something caught his attention, which often wandered now days. He couldn't help but stare at the news report flashing on the many TV's in the window of a popular electronics store. As the sports report came on, he trailed in to hear.

'_When interviewed earlier this morning, Mr Stanley Dickinson, head of the BBA, told reporters that there would be another charity tournament next month. A meeting is being held with favourite international beybladers this afternoon. Our sports reporter, James, has more information."_

Kai blinked as the camera swivelled, his head spinning as though he had been the one turned. A young man's face showed up, all smiles and excitement as pictures of the different Beyblading teams flashed up on the screen behind him.

Kai scowled. He hated the guy already. It was unnatural to be that happy. It was insane and unfair and… Kai's thoughts pulled to a halt and he smiled grimly. He wasn't jealous now, was he?

"…_and the big question now is, even though it is just a charity match, fans and spectators are wondering which team team-captain Kai Hiwatari of the Bladebreakers, or G Revolutions, and team member of the Russian Blitzkrieg Boys, will choose. After his break up with Tala Ivanov, the captain of the Blitzkrieg Boys, many believe the choice is obvious. We can only wait and see. Back to you Anna."_

"_Thank you James. And in other news…"_

Head twitching to the left, Kai frowned and shook his head, confused. He was aware of the others standing around him waiting, watching, waiting, waiting, _waiting _for _what_? Why would they be waiting? What are they waiting for? _Him_? Why? Everything was always questioned and never answered.

His hands flew to his cheeks and the others watched as words poured from Kai's mouth, even if the teen himself was unaware. "Why wait when you can take? Take part of me and never give it back, isn't that what you want? Are they waiting for _my answer?_ Why, why, why wait? Obvious, very obvious, Bladebrea-kers… always, always, _always_. Always blade for them… for them? With them? Always will, have to, no choice…. But the others… and _Tala_… who to choose…. They know I would always blade for them, right? Wait, they? Who're they? Cant be Tala, I'm filth, disgusting… unworthy…" and as Kai stiffened, it all came rushing back to him. He slowly sunk to his knees, whispering the phrase he had told Tala just last month. To his horror, and as much as he tried to force the sensation back down, a chuckle erupted from between his lips, sounding as natural as any other laugh. He clamped his hands over his mouth but he couldn't, _wouldn't_ stop. _Stop dammit_! Enough please. Oh God please, no more, no more, no more, no more. Why, why, _why_ wait? Just take whatever's left of me; don't leave me here to break in this world of insanity. Nevertheless, no one would dare take in someone disgusting as himself

"…Broken is what you are… and broken is how he left you," murmured Bryan. He knelt down next to Kai and grabbed him by the chin. Forcing the younger teen to look at him, he leaned in close until their noses were almost touching and he could feel Kai's breath against his lips. He searched the crimson orbs and stared the other down as he continued. "Has he affected you that much that you ended up like this… you're friendship is in shambles, and you're sanity isn't far behind. But you can't stand to live without his approval… not just anyone's, it has to be his because you're so insecure it's sickening and it makes me wonder… how great is Kai Hiwatari, really? Or is he just a shell of fake dreams and twisted goals?"

Kai's breath was hitting his lips in short little uneven puffs of air and as Bryan slipped a finger to Kai's pulse, he could feel it fluttering madly beneath his fingertips. He ran a tongue along the edges of his teeth. "You can't face the truth until it's told to you by someone else and then you break… but you'll cover it up with your stupid emotionless make up, that wretched mask made up of lies and self-doubts. Don't slip through my grip just yet, Kai. You can take this shit… or are you really this pathetic?" He leaned in close so he was right next to Kai's ear and he felt the other shiver as his breath ghosted over Kai's ear. "Fuck it, I know you are…"

Kai jerked his head back and out of Bryan's grip. Bryan stared straight ahead, eyes not leaving the spot where Kai had been as the other bolted past him and towards the car park. He knew it wasn't just his words that affected the teen, there had to be something else. But right now, he didn't give a fuck, because he was so confused it hurt, and he felt as though he were about to be sick. The pressure was pushing in against him and forcing every rational thought from his mind, and dimly he wondered if this was anything like how Kai felt.

_My mind is blank just like a clean slate  
Will I meet another guy with the same blue eyes  
And the same name, with the converse shoes I gave.  
__I can't really have the same_  
_Now come on baby.  
Will I make another mistake.  
And think he's just another fake._

He was going to be sick. Sick, sick, _sick._ Reflections… memories? All the same in a twisted world such as his… in a twisted mind such as his. The rain hit his face like ice shards as he burst through the doors and into the car park. He was grateful for the small distraction. But before he knew it, Bryan's words came crashing down on him and as he recalled what he had seen he stumbled to the car, slumping against its side and sliding to the ground.

My shoulder. _Your arm. _My scowl. _Your smile. _My failure. _Your success. _My heart. _Once yours. _But now that you're not here with me... _it's now._ All gone.

He shuddered and his eyes slipped close. Tipping his head to the heavens, raindrops rolled down his cheeks like tears. The cold seeped through his clothing and under his skin, sitting in his bones. His muscles went numb and he relaxed. It would be ok; it would all be ok… eventually.

* * *

A red four wheel drive tried pulling into the park next to the convertible, but the driver quickly hit the brakes as he spotted a set of legs sprawled out, leading up to a soaking wet body slumped against the other car.

Honking the horn, the driver leaned forward, cursing. "Come on, you stupid drunk, wake up and _move_."

His two companions leaned forward from the back seats to see what was going on.

"Try honking again," one of them suggested. And so the driver did.

* * *

Blinking slowly, Kai looked to the other car and frowned. He recognised that car, knew that car, yes he did. But he was so tired and it was so cold and so hot and he was so utterly confused, he didn't give a shit about the outside world.

* * *

One of the passengers began slowly tapping the driver's shoulder as he thought, trying to get the other's attention. As the crimson eyes of the 'drunk' opened, his thoughts were confirmed and he tapped the other furiously.

"Garland! Brooklyn! It's Kai!" exclaimed Mystel, hurriedly undoing his seatbelt.

Garland twisted in his seat to stare at the blonde, "what?" but Mystel was already scrambling out of the car. Ordering Brooklyn to stay in the car, Garland quickly followed.

"Kai, Kai, Kai," Mystel murmured repeatedly as he knelt down next to the Russian. Garland knelt next to him and gently slipped an arm around Kai's shoulders and under his knees. Preparing himself, he lifted Kai into the air, almost falling backwards when all his efforts went to waste and Kai was lifted easily. This kid was light!

Heading towards his car, he told Mystel to grab the blanket from the boot. Brooklyn shimmied over to Mystel's door, which he had left open, and helped Garland lift Kai into the car. He pulled Kai onto his lap and cradled him against his chest and Garland closed the door.

Mystel jumped into the front passenger seat, and Garland was quick to reverse and leave. He knew he had recognised the number plate on the convertible, he didn't know anyone other than the Russians who would have the number plate, 'DNG3RU5'.

"Mystel, call Bryan. Let him know we've got Kai. Tell him… we're taking him home, not to the meeting. He's too sick," said Garland. He huffed, thinking hard, and a strand of his hair drifted up before dropping back down onto his face.

Mystel spoke rapidly into the phone and frowned. Holding his hand over the bottom of the phone, he turned to Garland and said, "He says, don't take him home. Bring Kai to the meeting. Kai will be fine. If he is sick it won't kick in for a day or two."

Garland opened his mouth to protest, but closed it and nodded stiffly. Though he was against the idea, Bryan would know what was best for Kai. Glancing in the rear-view mirror, Garland sighed miserably.

Brooklyn caught Garland's eye. He dropped his emerald gaze to the teen sleeping in his lap and brushed Kai's slate locks off his forehead to gently rest his hand there. The skin wasn't hot… but if the flushed cheeks were anything to go by...

* * *

Kai was so close to tipping. It was as if he was walking on a tightrope high above the world with death, insanity and heartbreak on one side, and life, freedom and love on the other, both sides holding one of his hands and keeping him steady. And slowly, Kai was tipping more towards the negative. And as he finally fell, all he saw was Tala. Tala, Tala, _Tala_, everywhere. Laughing, pointing. Would no one cry if he were lost forever?

* * *

Kai jolted awake, panting. Someone was stroking his hair, and he realised his body was stretched out on a black leather couch… like the one's in Mr Dickinson's office, realised Kai. He looked up to the person who was allowing him to use their legs as a pillow and found Bryan staring back with those ever intensive eyes.

Bryan slowly pulled his hand away and let Kai sit up. He watched him cautiously as crimson eyes darted around. He noted the way Kai spent an extra few seconds looking at the doors and windows in the room. Surprisingly though, Kai didn't try anything. He just stared at Bryan and… nothing.

"Garland, Brooklyn and Mystel found you in the rain. I'll go tell them you're awake," muttered Bryan. Just as he placed his hand on the door handle, there was a weight on his back.

Before he could stop himself, Kai lunged after the other. He wrapped his arms around his waist, pressed his chest against his back and leant his forehead on the other's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, so sorry. But how? How can you all be so _stupid_?! You all keep waiting on me, expecting an answer, expecting _something_, which I can't give. And I _don't know why_ you, of all people, who have had to deal with every bit of emotion that has leaked from my pores and spilled from my eyes, been cried from my mouth without my control… you have seen the worst, and yet _you're. Still. Here_," Kai fisted his hands in Bryan's shirt. "Why won't you _leave?_"

Bryan was still. Honestly, he didn't know. There was something, something in Kai's eyes that told him it wasn't a joke it was serious. But while others thought it hopeless, he also saw something in those eyes worth fighting for. Kai wasn't broken yet. Tala had come damn fucking close, closer than anyone else had, yes, but he hadn't broken Kai yet. So while the redhead strolled around looking awfully proud, as though nothing had happened, it was he who would smirk and laugh. He knew what Tala was all about and he hoped that every time Tala caught sight of the scarily thin face, the paler than usual skin, the seemingly darker triangles and the haunted crimson eyes that… that… This was too much, even for the mighty Hiwatari. Tala had done the one thing that neither Boris nor Voltaire had been able to do… because he had come so dangerously close, _so fucking close_. The thought made his heart miss a beat and his breath catch in his throat. He had always thought that if Kai ever broke, the world would soon go crashing down with him.

"It's ok Kai, because I myself don't really know either…" He opened the door, ready to leave Kai to his thoughts, but instead, he froze.

Kai felt the other tense. He glanced over Bryan's shoulder and felt everything inside him flip. Now he definitely knew he was going to be sick. Blue was such a wonderful colour and red so bright, but he did not like them when they looked like _that_, like _him_. Nor did he like them when they meshed together with the golds and the yellows, the lilacs and the purples. The colours of all the other bladers… when they all swirled together, they were horribly sickening, becoming this awful brown, and then red and finally… black.

_Wish I could erase the past__  
__Wish I could bring you back__  
__If I knew that you were mine__  
__I wouldn't have wasted time__  
__I wish I could erase the past__  
__Now its all collapsed__  
__In my lap_

* * *

**Well there ya go! The lyrics are Collapsed by Aly and Aj. Hope you enjoyed and thank you to my reviewers!**

**TTFN!**

**Kavbj**


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